Author note:“Fever” is one of the most intense episodes involving a before and after in the ratio of Mick and Beth, that's why it deserves a special tribute, which is why this scene is special and also larger than usual. Here we will enter the mind of both and relive every moment from a deeper perspective: the perspective that the soul gives.
I Hope you enjoy this story
Thanks for reading
Selene
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"What do you feel when something you've always protected now becomes what you want the most? What does it feel like when you realize that you love and want something forbidden to the point where there will be no limit or control?"
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MICK: Fever and pain were confusing my mind. Sunlight had covered me like a burning poison that would inevitably spread through my skin until penetrating my veins, and even contact with the ice water wasn’t able to alleviate that effect...
My temples throbbed, my vision was clouded and my body, desperate by the urgent need for blood, began to convulse, devouring every breath as if I were a fish out of water, unable to breathe. I could feel the force and life was draining out of me second by second. I no longer had time and in those painful moments of agony, waiting for death to arrive, I could only think of one thing ... I was thinking of her…Beth.
My temples throbbed, my vision was clouded and my body, desperate by the urgent need for blood, began to convulse, devouring every breath as if I were a fish out of water, unable to breathe. I could feel the force and life was draining out of me second by second. I no longer had time and in those painful moments of agony, waiting for death to arrive, I could only think of one thing ... I was thinking of her…Beth.
I closed my eyes and then that smell so sweet and soft that I knew so well, came to me and for a moment all the pain disappeared. I opened my eyes and I saw her, she was there as if she had risen from a dream or rather from my own desire.
Beth was kneeling in front of me. At that moment I didn’t know if she was real or just a hallucination caused by the fever. I just laid there, staring at her, not daring to move a finger for fear that she might disappear.
Beth was kneeling in front of me. At that moment I didn’t know if she was real or just a hallucination caused by the fever. I just laid there, staring at her, not daring to move a finger for fear that she might disappear.
Beth looked at me calmly, without fear, she was reading me once again, my gaze met hers, so pure and clear. She showed me the most sincere look that was written in the blue of her beautiful eyes.
She was willing to relieve my pain and thirst without questions, without fear, without reservation. She said nothing, just looked at the vampire, face to face, accepting him... loving him... and her gaze caused me an inexplicable mixture of peace and desire that caught me, leaving me suspended in the blue intensity of her eyes while I was debating between heaven and hell, between the angel that she had created, and the demon that begged to live inside me crying out for me to take her blood and her body. I was debating between what my mind was trying to tell me and what my body and my instinct were demanding.
But she was sure about what I needed and she was willing to it provide it. Slowly, she turned her head without taking her eyes off mine, while the vampire followed her movement with his silver eyes, mesmerized by her, blinded by the need, maddened by thirst and desire, but still controlled by the sweetness in her eyes and he lay still, waiting for her sign. She exposed her bared neck before my eyes and then she looked away. The spell of her sweet gaze was broken at that moment, that was the sign, she was ready for me, and a second later I lunged to her neck, eager to taste the delicious elixir that flowed from her veins with each beat of her heart. I felt the vampire inside me, eager to quench the thirst that was torturing him, eager to feel her, to take her...
She was willing to relieve my pain and thirst without questions, without fear, without reservation. She said nothing, just looked at the vampire, face to face, accepting him... loving him... and her gaze caused me an inexplicable mixture of peace and desire that caught me, leaving me suspended in the blue intensity of her eyes while I was debating between heaven and hell, between the angel that she had created, and the demon that begged to live inside me crying out for me to take her blood and her body. I was debating between what my mind was trying to tell me and what my body and my instinct were demanding.
But she was sure about what I needed and she was willing to it provide it. Slowly, she turned her head without taking her eyes off mine, while the vampire followed her movement with his silver eyes, mesmerized by her, blinded by the need, maddened by thirst and desire, but still controlled by the sweetness in her eyes and he lay still, waiting for her sign. She exposed her bared neck before my eyes and then she looked away. The spell of her sweet gaze was broken at that moment, that was the sign, she was ready for me, and a second later I lunged to her neck, eager to taste the delicious elixir that flowed from her veins with each beat of her heart. I felt the vampire inside me, eager to quench the thirst that was torturing him, eager to feel her, to take her...
And while she was in my arms while my fangs were penetrating her skin and her vein opened in my mouth letting her blood flow, I could feel her scent flooding my senses and I began to feel her become mine. But I realized that the desire, away of abating, grew dangerous with each beat of her heart that was now beating in me. Then a question began to sound in my mind: "What do you feel when something you've always protected now becomes what you want the most? What does it feel like when you realize that you love and want something forbidden to the point where there will be no limit or control?"
A second later, the image of Beth vanished from my mind, I opened my eyes to reality and found myself in that filthy bathtub at that abandoned motel. I was alone, without her, facing death. I was trying to take refuge in the coolness of the ice water that was covering my body while I was still burning up with fever wishing that I could disappear.
At that time, when the fever was causing me hallucinations, showing me my deepest desires, those that I was dreading to admit to myself, there was only one thing that I desired and feared at the same time ....her... I just wanted her before my eyes once more time.
“FIEBRE”
"What do you do when the only thing that can save you is the only thing that would make your life unbearable ..."21 hours before….
A week ago I had not heard from her, not since she had pulled a stick from my chest and she saw me burning another vampire without the slightest trace of pity. I hadn’t seen her since I got up the courage to tell her the "beautiful story" about how my wife turned me into a vampire on our wedding night ... too much to process in one day ... too many horrors to understand.
To trust someone and tell them about what I feel and what I am was not easy for me, not after what happened with Coraline. But everything was different with Beth, I owed it to her and when I saw her face looking at the wound that the stake had left in my chest, even despite the horror of it all, I knew ... I knew she would be the only person I could trust.
A week ago I had not heard from her, not since she had pulled a stick from my chest and she saw me burning another vampire without the slightest trace of pity. I hadn’t seen her since I got up the courage to tell her the "beautiful story" about how my wife turned me into a vampire on our wedding night ... too much to process in one day ... too many horrors to understand.
To trust someone and tell them about what I feel and what I am was not easy for me, not after what happened with Coraline. But everything was different with Beth, I owed it to her and when I saw her face looking at the wound that the stake had left in my chest, even despite the horror of it all, I knew ... I knew she would be the only person I could trust.
Beth wanted to know how my hell began and I felt obligated to tell her, especially after everything she had witnessed ... the stake, fangs, blood, fire ... Too many horrors related to the monster. Perhaps I expected that she would understand, that she would know that I have not always been what I am ... that there was a time that I was human, when I had a life, illusions and that I was also capable of love...Oh yes... but that love castrate my heart and my soul. She listened and there was a moment in which her gaze, although surprised, spoke of gratitude and understanding. I had started to open up to her, despite the fact that I was still hesitant, but she seemed to step back and now her silence was killing me.
After so many days without seeing her, I wasn’t sure if I would ever see Beth again and yet I needed to see her each day and I realized that the more I let her into my life, the greater the fear was of losing her. Fear of scaring her, fear of seeing her disappear never to return ... and that idea grew stronger with each passing day without news of her, until finally the phone rang. My stomach sank when I heard her voice. That I was pleasantly surprised, however I have to admit that the way she chose to do it puzzled me even more that her silence.
After so many days without seeing her, I wasn’t sure if I would ever see Beth again and yet I needed to see her each day and I realized that the more I let her into my life, the greater the fear was of losing her. Fear of scaring her, fear of seeing her disappear never to return ... and that idea grew stronger with each passing day without news of her, until finally the phone rang. My stomach sank when I heard her voice. That I was pleasantly surprised, however I have to admit that the way she chose to do it puzzled me even more that her silence.
………………..::**&**::……………
BETH: When he told me his story, he made me feel something special for him, not only by what he told me but by the way he did it. His heart had been closed for so long and now he was opening it to me timidly, something he never thought he’d do anymore, and then I realized something was emerging between us and whatever it was, it was becoming a kind of need for me. The closer I came to him, the closer I wanted to be...
I felt dizzy about what I was beginning to feel for him and with him. But the truth was I hardly knew what it was he felt or what I wanted. I guess I decided to take some time to think before I got closer to his world, before letting him come in mine. I thought that I could return to my routine. I tried to go on with my job and not to think of him, but to no avail… It did not work. He fascinated me even more than my job and even when I was working I couldn’t help but think about him. It was too late to go back to what I had before; nothing was the same after having known him. I wanted to keep peeking into his life and I liked that he was in mine. The how didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered was that he was with me... it was that simple.
I don’t deny that this unknown world, to which he belongs, scared me. Maybe it would have been easier to return to the comfortable security that Josh offered me, but it was not enough for me, no after finding Mick. Being near him, life was like a constant and unpredictable adventure in which I could feel myself fascinated by the thrill of danger, but with the safety of having him by my side. He made me feel more alive than I had ever felt before, and this feeling was turning into an addiction for me, it was useless to deny it.
I needed to see him again, I had to find a way to be near him without invading his space ... and yet I already had done it. The feelings and the past seemed to scare him and I had obliged him, without realizing it, I had brought him out of his shell, and had done so without stopping to think if that was what he wanted. So I thought it was time to reflect before moving on and I did. And in doing so I concluded that although I couldn’t get away from him, I could try to respect his private space where he seemed to keep his feelings locked away. So I decided to stay away, this time I would leave him the choice. And my job gave me the perfect excuse.
I felt dizzy about what I was beginning to feel for him and with him. But the truth was I hardly knew what it was he felt or what I wanted. I guess I decided to take some time to think before I got closer to his world, before letting him come in mine. I thought that I could return to my routine. I tried to go on with my job and not to think of him, but to no avail… It did not work. He fascinated me even more than my job and even when I was working I couldn’t help but think about him. It was too late to go back to what I had before; nothing was the same after having known him. I wanted to keep peeking into his life and I liked that he was in mine. The how didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered was that he was with me... it was that simple.
I don’t deny that this unknown world, to which he belongs, scared me. Maybe it would have been easier to return to the comfortable security that Josh offered me, but it was not enough for me, no after finding Mick. Being near him, life was like a constant and unpredictable adventure in which I could feel myself fascinated by the thrill of danger, but with the safety of having him by my side. He made me feel more alive than I had ever felt before, and this feeling was turning into an addiction for me, it was useless to deny it.
I needed to see him again, I had to find a way to be near him without invading his space ... and yet I already had done it. The feelings and the past seemed to scare him and I had obliged him, without realizing it, I had brought him out of his shell, and had done so without stopping to think if that was what he wanted. So I thought it was time to reflect before moving on and I did. And in doing so I concluded that although I couldn’t get away from him, I could try to respect his private space where he seemed to keep his feelings locked away. So I decided to stay away, this time I would leave him the choice. And my job gave me the perfect excuse.
.……………….::**&**::……………….
MICK: Frankly, I would have sacrificed any morning off to be with her but when I opened the door of my penthouse, the last thing that I expected was to meet face to face with my rival standing beside of her. I know that she realized it at the moment she saw my eyes, although I am sure that this was part of her plan. Looking at her was enough to know that she was up to something and when I looked at her with skepticism hovering in my eyes, she dodged me and played with her hair, trying to hide her eyes of me. Maybe she wanted me to think that this was Josh’s idea, but she couldn’t fool me. The question was why? There were three possible answers to that question… her job, Josh or me.
Beth seemed to have changed after my confession, she had become more cautious, more restrained ... as if she would want to study the situation and redirect her attitude. She was offering me something away from any complicated relationship ... something as simple as a professional collaboration ... but not just any collaboration. It was one with three vertices and a triangle is always a triangle regardless of the field in which it arises. Three vertices are too many for someone like me and there was the trick.
She had long been mine and even when I was trying to break that thought, that feeling had become more intense lately. I think subconsciously I had already chosen her as a partner from the moment I decided to trust her, but her silence first and then the presence of Josh with her in my house puzzled me. I know it's crazy but after all these years, I wanted to be everything to her, her father, her protector, her hero, her accomplice, her friend. And maybe her man ... and I didn’t like someone else taking my place in any of those situations so much so that when I saw her in my territory with him, I could not avoid showing the alpha male who gets defensive in the presence of a rival ... and Josh was this to me, a rival though a part of me would feel uncomfortable just thinking about it.
Beth seemed to have changed after my confession, she had become more cautious, more restrained ... as if she would want to study the situation and redirect her attitude. She was offering me something away from any complicated relationship ... something as simple as a professional collaboration ... but not just any collaboration. It was one with three vertices and a triangle is always a triangle regardless of the field in which it arises. Three vertices are too many for someone like me and there was the trick.
She had long been mine and even when I was trying to break that thought, that feeling had become more intense lately. I think subconsciously I had already chosen her as a partner from the moment I decided to trust her, but her silence first and then the presence of Josh with her in my house puzzled me. I know it's crazy but after all these years, I wanted to be everything to her, her father, her protector, her hero, her accomplice, her friend. And maybe her man ... and I didn’t like someone else taking my place in any of those situations so much so that when I saw her in my territory with him, I could not avoid showing the alpha male who gets defensive in the presence of a rival ... and Josh was this to me, a rival though a part of me would feel uncomfortable just thinking about it.
Fortunately Josh was not aware of anything like that, he was too worried about whether or not I would accept the case that he came to offer me. I would have to find a missing woman who was a crucial witness for the prosecution in a murder case against a powerful arms dealer located in the city. The police weren’t a safe option, there could have leaks, so he needed someone outside the system. Beth would be the means of communication between him and me ... a true triangle ... I could say it was like a metaphor. And what should I answer? It was not easy to tell her the truth and after her silence I wasn’t sure why she came back now. I didn’t know if she was looking for me or if she was just looking for my vampire skills to impress him.
Then I look at her again, waiting for an answer...And I found it into her eyes one more time.
Then I look at her again, waiting for an answer...And I found it into her eyes one more time.
I ended up accepting the case. I did it because that was what she wanted, what she expected of me ... but what was I really expected of her?
Whatever it was, I never thought the answer to that question could be so dangerous for us both.
..............…….......………..::**&**::……….................………..…
BETH: We started the research and I realized that when Josh left us and gave me a kiss on the cheek in front of Mick, I found myself looking at him. It was as if somehow I was worried about his reaction, or maybe it was me who wasn’t comfortable with that kiss. I think I was beginning to have this strange feeling of belonging and dependence on Mick to the point that, without realizing it, I began to see Josh as a kind of intruder. I never imagined how intense that sensation could be just a few hours later.
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MICK: Finally Beth and I were on the hunt to find the woman. It sounded strange to think of "Beth and I" as a whole and yet it was like that. But our team ended there for the moment, Lennie was armed and scared and it was not a good combination, so I decided to go on alone to find her and bring her back without endangering to Beth.
But nothing was as easy as I thought. I found the woman, yes, and then we were attacked, there was an explosion that caused us to ditch the stolen car in which we were returning in and we managed to escape almost miraculously, but a new hell was going to open its door for me. We were lost in the middle of the desert, walking under the scorching sun and it turned out to be even more dangerous than fire for me and for Lennie too.
A vampire like my friend Josef would not have any problem, he would have made a choice, but for someone like me, crossing a desert under sunlight, feeling myself die second by second when the only relief I had at my disposal for easing thirst and pain, was the blood of the person to whom I had promised protection, could be a real hell.
Perhaps Josef didn’t understand, but after what happened with Coraline, betrayal was something that didn’t fit into my consciousness. However, when it´s about survival, a vampire can’t have a conscious, if you have one, you die. The instinct of a vampire is very simple, if you're dying, you need blood ... It's that simple and also that complicated.
Maybe I could control the vampire, but when it came time to choose, the instinct would overtake my conscious, it was inevitable, no mattered what I had promised, in the end I would have to drink her blood or I would die.
But nothing was as easy as I thought. I found the woman, yes, and then we were attacked, there was an explosion that caused us to ditch the stolen car in which we were returning in and we managed to escape almost miraculously, but a new hell was going to open its door for me. We were lost in the middle of the desert, walking under the scorching sun and it turned out to be even more dangerous than fire for me and for Lennie too.
A vampire like my friend Josef would not have any problem, he would have made a choice, but for someone like me, crossing a desert under sunlight, feeling myself die second by second when the only relief I had at my disposal for easing thirst and pain, was the blood of the person to whom I had promised protection, could be a real hell.
Perhaps Josef didn’t understand, but after what happened with Coraline, betrayal was something that didn’t fit into my consciousness. However, when it´s about survival, a vampire can’t have a conscious, if you have one, you die. The instinct of a vampire is very simple, if you're dying, you need blood ... It's that simple and also that complicated.
Maybe I could control the vampire, but when it came time to choose, the instinct would overtake my conscious, it was inevitable, no mattered what I had promised, in the end I would have to drink her blood or I would die.
...But destiny prevented me from making the choice ... maybe because fate had chosen something even worse.
That's how I ended up almost dying in the filthy bathtub of an abandoned motel amid nothing, the only haven in the midst of that hell.
That's how I ended up almost dying in the filthy bathtub of an abandoned motel amid nothing, the only haven in the midst of that hell.
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I opened the faucet of bath tub almost without strength, that walk under the sun had left my body completely exhausted and burning with fever, so much so that I could hardly undress. I could barely tear my shirt off with the strength of despair before collapsing and falling on my knees beside the tub.
I needed time and I needed help ... I could not leave the woman without protection, if I did it, Fayed´s mercenaries would kill her and yet I was now the main danger for her.
I needed time and I needed help ... I could not leave the woman without protection, if I did it, Fayed´s mercenaries would kill her and yet I was now the main danger for her.
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Llené la bañera y le pedí a Lenni que fuera a por hielo.
I filled the tub and asked Lennie to go for ice. When the cold water did contact with my skin I felt a sharp pain, like I had a thousand needles in my skin, then gradually my body went numb and the pain was subsiding, but it didn’t disappeared...
The ice water became the only relief that I had for easing the pain from my body and steal a bit of time from death, but it was just a temporary relief. I knew that without fresh, live blood to regenerating my body, I would lose the battle.
The vampire in me wanted to live and his eyes sought the source of life that throbbed in Lennie’s neck. The urgent need made my self-control more difficult. I wasn’t willing to risk her life, the girl was pregnant and I had promised to protect them both until she could testify. Fayed's men had killed the father of her son and she wanted to protect her baby, she was scared but finally agreed to testify because she knew that it was the only way to give justice to her boyfriend. That strength born of fragility was what prompted me to protect her, she deserved my loyalty. But now she was in danger with me, so I ordered her to leave the room but before she left, I asked her one more thing. I asked her to call Beth. With the police involved she was the only one I could trust. Beth, only she could get her out safe if I couldn’t do it. But I also had another reason for calling Beth... I needed her too...I needed to see her again one more time before dying.
The vampire in me wanted to live and his eyes sought the source of life that throbbed in Lennie’s neck. The urgent need made my self-control more difficult. I wasn’t willing to risk her life, the girl was pregnant and I had promised to protect them both until she could testify. Fayed's men had killed the father of her son and she wanted to protect her baby, she was scared but finally agreed to testify because she knew that it was the only way to give justice to her boyfriend. That strength born of fragility was what prompted me to protect her, she deserved my loyalty. But now she was in danger with me, so I ordered her to leave the room but before she left, I asked her one more thing. I asked her to call Beth. With the police involved she was the only one I could trust. Beth, only she could get her out safe if I couldn’t do it. But I also had another reason for calling Beth... I needed her too...I needed to see her again one more time before dying.
……………................…..::**S&S**::…………................……
BETH: Sometimes you never know what you really want until it comes time when you think you have lost it.
"Dead! He's dead!“ Those words echoed in my mind over and over again from the moment Josh told me what had happened. And while I was hearing them as an echo in my head, I could not believe nor comprehend the meaning. The police car in which Mick and Lennie had escaped, had been attacked, there had been an explosion and... "My God" I thought, the fire could destroy him. "Oh my God he really could be dead!"
My eyes filled with tears and I felt an emptiness inside so huge that I thought that I would disappear at that moment. I instinctively turned away, I didn’t want Josh to see me, he couldn´t know what Mick really meant to me, I didn’t want him to know that I couldn’t bear the thought of having lost Mick ... and yet something inside me refused to believe he could be dead, no, he couldn’t leave me.
After the denial, came the anger. I swallowed my tears and I turned angrily to Josh to accuse him of having traitors among his men. I did it trying to contain my anger, my frustration and pain, a pain so intense that barely allowed me to control my despair.
I needed to be alone, I could only think of Mick. I went home and I slumped on the couch. I wanted to mourn in an attempt to release the infinite sadness that I was feeling, but tears were useless, the emptiness was still there. I felt guilty for having persuaded him to accept the case and I just wanted to die, disappear so the pain would go away. I also loved him, yes, I did, I knew it at that moment and I knew that I would have given my life for him, but he was gone, he would not be with me anymore. Loneliness and helplessness took over my soul like that night so many years ago.
Then the phone rang and I heard Lennie's voice. He was alive and needed me and I didn’t want to think of anything else. I asked her where they were, I grabbed my purse, car keys, and I went to search for him. I would go to hell and back to find him, I´d do anything to save him ... Anything ... at that moment I didn’t care about anything or anyone but him.
"Dead! He's dead!“ Those words echoed in my mind over and over again from the moment Josh told me what had happened. And while I was hearing them as an echo in my head, I could not believe nor comprehend the meaning. The police car in which Mick and Lennie had escaped, had been attacked, there had been an explosion and... "My God" I thought, the fire could destroy him. "Oh my God he really could be dead!"
My eyes filled with tears and I felt an emptiness inside so huge that I thought that I would disappear at that moment. I instinctively turned away, I didn’t want Josh to see me, he couldn´t know what Mick really meant to me, I didn’t want him to know that I couldn’t bear the thought of having lost Mick ... and yet something inside me refused to believe he could be dead, no, he couldn’t leave me.
After the denial, came the anger. I swallowed my tears and I turned angrily to Josh to accuse him of having traitors among his men. I did it trying to contain my anger, my frustration and pain, a pain so intense that barely allowed me to control my despair.
I needed to be alone, I could only think of Mick. I went home and I slumped on the couch. I wanted to mourn in an attempt to release the infinite sadness that I was feeling, but tears were useless, the emptiness was still there. I felt guilty for having persuaded him to accept the case and I just wanted to die, disappear so the pain would go away. I also loved him, yes, I did, I knew it at that moment and I knew that I would have given my life for him, but he was gone, he would not be with me anymore. Loneliness and helplessness took over my soul like that night so many years ago.
Then the phone rang and I heard Lennie's voice. He was alive and needed me and I didn’t want to think of anything else. I asked her where they were, I grabbed my purse, car keys, and I went to search for him. I would go to hell and back to find him, I´d do anything to save him ... Anything ... at that moment I didn’t care about anything or anyone but him.
……………................………::**S&S**::…………..............…………….
When the need becomes uncontrollable, when death begins to haunt you and you feel that it’s inevitable, the survival instinct makes you see images that deceive your mind to relieve your torture. But sometimes they make it even more unbearable. The subconscious is present in your consciousness and your eyes see what your body and your mind want to see. I saw blood everywhere, hallucinations made me confuse the real with the unreal and then ... I saw her ... I saw Beth..
She appeared in my mind and became visible before my eyes like a compassionate angel that had come to release me from my torture. She looked at me ready to ease my pain and thirst. In her eyes there was no fear, nor doubt ... there was only love, the purest I have ever seen and her sweet gaze had the peace that only she could convey, only her presence could take away the pain from me.
She didn’t speak ... it was not necessary, her gaze calm and crystal clear let me read in her eyes what I wanted, a perfect release. But, was it a dream, a desire or a vision of what could happen? I didn’t know exactly, I could barely think, I could only look at her. Then she cocked her head slightly exposing her throbbing artery to me and I could only follow her movement wanting her more and more until finally I gave in to what she seemed to ask me without words, something that the vampire inside of me wanted more than anything. Take her, feel her, love her...
But when I saw myself gazing about her white neck, when my relentless fangs sank into her skin I felt her blood flooding in my mouth with its delicious taste, sliding sweet and smoothly down my throat. When I felt her life began to beat in me and I started to feel the sweet delivery of her body into my mouth... When the frenzy and madness were about to drag me into the abyss of the most absolute pleasure, I noticed that her heartbeat began to fade on me as those waves of the river that will widen until it disappears, just like that first time I fed as a vampire ... then my consciousness returned and I woke up terrified.
That was not a dream ... it was a vision of what might happen if she came to me... my God! She should not come ... I shouldn’t tell Lennie to call her and yet I had no choice. I took refuge in the ice to remove that image from my mind, to ward off what I dreaded, and what I wanted even despite myself. And I begged God. "Please let me die before she comes, before I hurt her or Lennie.
I closed my eyes and prayed for death to arrive. My head was spinning, real and unreal images blended before my eyes brought on by the whim of the fever. I fought against my instinct until everything went dark and I lost consciousness. The end was close, I just had to wait.
She appeared in my mind and became visible before my eyes like a compassionate angel that had come to release me from my torture. She looked at me ready to ease my pain and thirst. In her eyes there was no fear, nor doubt ... there was only love, the purest I have ever seen and her sweet gaze had the peace that only she could convey, only her presence could take away the pain from me.
She didn’t speak ... it was not necessary, her gaze calm and crystal clear let me read in her eyes what I wanted, a perfect release. But, was it a dream, a desire or a vision of what could happen? I didn’t know exactly, I could barely think, I could only look at her. Then she cocked her head slightly exposing her throbbing artery to me and I could only follow her movement wanting her more and more until finally I gave in to what she seemed to ask me without words, something that the vampire inside of me wanted more than anything. Take her, feel her, love her...
But when I saw myself gazing about her white neck, when my relentless fangs sank into her skin I felt her blood flooding in my mouth with its delicious taste, sliding sweet and smoothly down my throat. When I felt her life began to beat in me and I started to feel the sweet delivery of her body into my mouth... When the frenzy and madness were about to drag me into the abyss of the most absolute pleasure, I noticed that her heartbeat began to fade on me as those waves of the river that will widen until it disappears, just like that first time I fed as a vampire ... then my consciousness returned and I woke up terrified.
That was not a dream ... it was a vision of what might happen if she came to me... my God! She should not come ... I shouldn’t tell Lennie to call her and yet I had no choice. I took refuge in the ice to remove that image from my mind, to ward off what I dreaded, and what I wanted even despite myself. And I begged God. "Please let me die before she comes, before I hurt her or Lennie.
I closed my eyes and prayed for death to arrive. My head was spinning, real and unreal images blended before my eyes brought on by the whim of the fever. I fought against my instinct until everything went dark and I lost consciousness. The end was close, I just had to wait.
………..::**&**::…………
BETH: When I arrived at the motel, Lennie was waiting, she was worried for Mick. Crossing the desert had done him too much damage...he was dying.
I immediately entered the bathroom where I found Mick unconscious, submerged in the water. I feared I had arrived too late and ran to him, there was no time to lose.
I threw my bag aside and fell against the tub trying to get him out of the water. He didn’t react and the panic of losing him overwhelmed me. I shouted again and again while I was holding him, trying desperately to make him wake up. I could think of nothing but what I felt, what I wanted and I begged him. "Stay with me Mick, please... Stay with me!!!"
I immediately entered the bathroom where I found Mick unconscious, submerged in the water. I feared I had arrived too late and ran to him, there was no time to lose.
I threw my bag aside and fell against the tub trying to get him out of the water. He didn’t react and the panic of losing him overwhelmed me. I shouted again and again while I was holding him, trying desperately to make him wake up. I could think of nothing but what I felt, what I wanted and I begged him. "Stay with me Mick, please... Stay with me!!!"
………..::**&**::………..
I hear your voice in my sleep, I dream of you and though you're not here, in this darkness, you are my light.………..::**&**::…………
I heard her voice, first distant and then closer and closer until it became a desperate cry begging me. "Stay with me, Mick, stay with me." There was only one thing in the world I wanted more than that and it was to hear her say it.
Her plea was what brought me back from death, it was what made me open my eyes just to look at her again, whether or not real, I didn’t care. I just wanted to see in her eyes what I had always dreamed of seeing before and I did.
Her plea was what brought me back from death, it was what made me open my eyes just to look at her again, whether or not real, I didn’t care. I just wanted to see in her eyes what I had always dreamed of seeing before and I did.
She wanted me beside her, and she didn’t care what I was. For that one moment, it was worth the hell that I had lived, it was worth dying after knowing it.
BETH: I thanked God when I saw him open his eyes, he was alive. I had arrived in time to bring him back. I loved him more than ever when I saw him so scared thinking he had attacked Lennie, swearing he’d rather die than do it ... and now I know that he would have. He would have died before hurting either one of us. Where was the monster that he hated? I never saw him. He was dying and was still able to think of others before himself and in that moment I loved him for that ... I still love him and now I know I'll love him forever.
He asked me to take Lennie away to protect her, but I wasn’t going to go anywhere without him.
I touched his forehead, he was burning up and his appearance was extremely weak. He had not yet turned into a vampire but his lips were parched because of thirst, his skin was pale, almost sallow ... his eyes were sunken with a strange yellow color, like his murderer, the sun, whose light seemed to have stayed in them like a kind of death mark. He was dying and I was not willing to let him go ... he needed blood and I would give it even though I had to do it against his will.
BETH: I thanked God when I saw him open his eyes, he was alive. I had arrived in time to bring him back. I loved him more than ever when I saw him so scared thinking he had attacked Lennie, swearing he’d rather die than do it ... and now I know that he would have. He would have died before hurting either one of us. Where was the monster that he hated? I never saw him. He was dying and was still able to think of others before himself and in that moment I loved him for that ... I still love him and now I know I'll love him forever.
He asked me to take Lennie away to protect her, but I wasn’t going to go anywhere without him.
I touched his forehead, he was burning up and his appearance was extremely weak. He had not yet turned into a vampire but his lips were parched because of thirst, his skin was pale, almost sallow ... his eyes were sunken with a strange yellow color, like his murderer, the sun, whose light seemed to have stayed in them like a kind of death mark. He was dying and I was not willing to let him go ... he needed blood and I would give it even though I had to do it against his will.
MICK: She looked at me in silence pressing her lips as her hands caressed my face, and then there was no pain or agony, only the softness of her touch that became a cool relief for my fevered skin. A moment later she broke contact, stood up resolutely and took her coat off, pulled her hair back exposing her beautiful neck ... and ... I just noticed her intention and I screamed with all my power. "NO!"
My vision would come true if she stayed there and I couldn’t allow it. She was sacred to me, I simply couldn’t and shouldn’t drink her blood ... much less now when I barely had the strength to control the vampire. It would mean a new torture for me and I wasn’t sure I could endure that without falling into temptation or into something even worse, into the abyss. She stirred too many feelings in me that I didn’t understand, that I could not control and all that linked to my extreme necessity and the deprivation of all these years, it might be too dangerous a combination. I had only to remember the first time I drank live blood to save my life ... that time I killed the girl. Thinking it might happen with Beth filled me with dread. I could control myself and my instinct to protect her, they wouldn’t let me kill her. I dreaded the fact that she could see the monster that lived in me, she could see blood lust in my eyes and feel the pain of my urgency as my fangs entered into her veins, and it would be unbearable for me.
But she trusted me more than I trusted myself. She wanted to do it despite her own fear. She was absolutely determined to save my life by putting hers in my hands and looking at her eyes I realized that there was nothing I could do to convince her otherwise.
BETH: I knew he would never hurt me, he’d never break his promise to protect me and so he would die rather than drink my blood, but this time I had to make him understand that losing him was a pain that I was not prepared to endure. I didn’t care about his fear or mine. I wanted to do it and I had to force him. In his eyes I saw defeat, shame and pain, but there was no other way. I knew it and he knew it too.
My vision would come true if she stayed there and I couldn’t allow it. She was sacred to me, I simply couldn’t and shouldn’t drink her blood ... much less now when I barely had the strength to control the vampire. It would mean a new torture for me and I wasn’t sure I could endure that without falling into temptation or into something even worse, into the abyss. She stirred too many feelings in me that I didn’t understand, that I could not control and all that linked to my extreme necessity and the deprivation of all these years, it might be too dangerous a combination. I had only to remember the first time I drank live blood to save my life ... that time I killed the girl. Thinking it might happen with Beth filled me with dread. I could control myself and my instinct to protect her, they wouldn’t let me kill her. I dreaded the fact that she could see the monster that lived in me, she could see blood lust in my eyes and feel the pain of my urgency as my fangs entered into her veins, and it would be unbearable for me.
But she trusted me more than I trusted myself. She wanted to do it despite her own fear. She was absolutely determined to save my life by putting hers in my hands and looking at her eyes I realized that there was nothing I could do to convince her otherwise.
BETH: I knew he would never hurt me, he’d never break his promise to protect me and so he would die rather than drink my blood, but this time I had to make him understand that losing him was a pain that I was not prepared to endure. I didn’t care about his fear or mine. I wanted to do it and I had to force him. In his eyes I saw defeat, shame and pain, but there was no other way. I knew it and he knew it too.
MICK: I was ashamed to show her what I was really like. How could I look into her eyes after that. I was afraid to hurt her and I was afraid to be in love with her even more than I already was because in the end both things would end up being the same and it would happen if I drank her blood. If I did, if I felt her in me, I would want her in the desperate way for the rest of my life. If I drank her blood I would have to be away from her to protect her from me. Her blood would save my life but the desire and guilt would make it unbearable.
In the end she made the decision for me but I didn’t choose her neck. It would have been a bad idea at that moment. Her scent, her pulse, her touch, was too close, too tempting and too dangerous. I didn’t want to assault her veins like a lion would a gazelle. I could drain her without realizing it. I would rather die before hurting her. So I chose her arm. I took it into my trembling hands and held it for a moment before my eyes as if hoping I could turn back. She was shaking and I was shaking too. For both of us it was the first time. Yes, for me too. Despite living 55 years as a vampire, it would be the first time I was going to drink the blood of someone who I loved. I didn’t know how I could feel but I was about to find out.
Beth couldn’t help but fear the unknown and she was trying to overcome it, but she trusted me, she hoped that I wouldn’t kill her or worse turn her, and her words were impressed upon me before the beast took control. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as if by doing so she was fulfilled my wish not to look at the vampire and she didn’t see him.
In the end she made the decision for me but I didn’t choose her neck. It would have been a bad idea at that moment. Her scent, her pulse, her touch, was too close, too tempting and too dangerous. I didn’t want to assault her veins like a lion would a gazelle. I could drain her without realizing it. I would rather die before hurting her. So I chose her arm. I took it into my trembling hands and held it for a moment before my eyes as if hoping I could turn back. She was shaking and I was shaking too. For both of us it was the first time. Yes, for me too. Despite living 55 years as a vampire, it would be the first time I was going to drink the blood of someone who I loved. I didn’t know how I could feel but I was about to find out.
Beth couldn’t help but fear the unknown and she was trying to overcome it, but she trusted me, she hoped that I wouldn’t kill her or worse turn her, and her words were impressed upon me before the beast took control. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as if by doing so she was fulfilled my wish not to look at the vampire and she didn’t see him.
BETH: Suddenly I felt him turning, his smooth hands had fastened to my wrist gently, even with fear, clung to it firmly and his voice became hoarse while warning me: "At some point you’re going to have to stop me." After that, his fangs relentless sank into my skin, I felt a twinge painful and intense as through all my nerve endings were tingling as the edge of the tub dug into my ribs. For a moment I thought that I would faint, but gradually the pain was softened like his urgency, giving way to other sensations very different but no less intense.
I felt his lips, fresh, sweet and gentle, pressing on my skin and I felt his wet tongue touch me possessively, sensuously caressing my flesh, sucking my blood, and each time he drew against my flesh it was like an onslaught of intimacy that transformed the pain into the most intense pleasure, leading me to a stranger almost sexual climax that ended in waves of pleasure that ran through my body. At that moment I just wanted to surrender to him fully. My mind fell asleep little by little, but not my senses, until I was unable to think, I just wanted to feel. I fell on his shoulder when I felt my strength leave me because of the intensity of what he had caused in me. I hugged his back, seeking contact with his body so as not to faint while I allowed him to take all of me. I didn’t care anymore. I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to do anything more, I only wanted him in me and I forgot about everything, even my life. I could feel him...Oh yes... I felt him alive in me in an intimate communion, beyond the body, until he and I became one, beating as one heart only. My life had ceased to matter after I felt that. I was not myself, I was of him ... and then I knew I would be his the rest of my life.
I felt his lips, fresh, sweet and gentle, pressing on my skin and I felt his wet tongue touch me possessively, sensuously caressing my flesh, sucking my blood, and each time he drew against my flesh it was like an onslaught of intimacy that transformed the pain into the most intense pleasure, leading me to a stranger almost sexual climax that ended in waves of pleasure that ran through my body. At that moment I just wanted to surrender to him fully. My mind fell asleep little by little, but not my senses, until I was unable to think, I just wanted to feel. I fell on his shoulder when I felt my strength leave me because of the intensity of what he had caused in me. I hugged his back, seeking contact with his body so as not to faint while I allowed him to take all of me. I didn’t care anymore. I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to do anything more, I only wanted him in me and I forgot about everything, even my life. I could feel him...Oh yes... I felt him alive in me in an intimate communion, beyond the body, until he and I became one, beating as one heart only. My life had ceased to matter after I felt that. I was not myself, I was of him ... and then I knew I would be his the rest of my life.
MICK:Her veins were opened to me, allowing me to enter and taste the most exquisite and warm nectar that I had never tested, and her delicious warmth filled my mouth causing a huge burst of pleasure and life, sliding, sweet as honey, down my throat, singing through my veins, spreading through my body, dominating my senses, leading me to an ecstasy unlike any I had experienced or imagined before. Deeper, more perfect, more real ... a kind of communion that made me go beyond what I had gone before. It was so much more to feel the mirage of an unreal life in my heart or the empty pleasure of blood, alive, flowing though my veins as I had felt other times. She made me feel really alive when the first drop of her blood touched my tongue. I could feel her body vibrating into mine, at first with fear, with pain and then with pleasure. Oh yes... I felt her, second by second, until we became one. I felt her initial pain and I slowed the rhythm until it turned into pleasure and she responded with a sweet abandon that caused me to lose myself in her, delighting in each mouthful of blood, but I couldn’t let myself get lost in the ecstasy. I had to think of her before myself... and yet it was so hard to keep control ... so hard to resist her sweet surrender.
Her perfume soft and innocent, sweet and sensual came at me with every sip of her blood, and with every sip, I also could enter into her. I could feel her blood pushed by her heart through my body like waves of warmth and the strength of the excitement that she caused in me was transformed into a powerful electric shock that woke up every cell in my body until it reached my heart bringing it back to life. Yes ... my heart was also beating at that moment for her, only by her. She was mine and I was hers ... I discovered that the vampire could love her as he desired, while he was possessing her and he fought the urge and the desire because he couldn’t destroy her...He could not betray her.
I drank her blood and I read what her soul was hiding...I knew her real feelings for me ... I saw what I felt for her and pleasure mixed with pain. I didn’t deserve her but she loved me and pleasure suddenly became pain for me. She was my little girl, I had no right but I also had no choice and tears, red as the blood that I was drinking, began to flow from my eyes as a voice in my conscience repeated over and over again. "What do you feel when something you've always protected now becomes what you want the most? What does it feel like when you realize that you love and want something forbidden to the point where there will be no limit or control?"
Her perfume soft and innocent, sweet and sensual came at me with every sip of her blood, and with every sip, I also could enter into her. I could feel her blood pushed by her heart through my body like waves of warmth and the strength of the excitement that she caused in me was transformed into a powerful electric shock that woke up every cell in my body until it reached my heart bringing it back to life. Yes ... my heart was also beating at that moment for her, only by her. She was mine and I was hers ... I discovered that the vampire could love her as he desired, while he was possessing her and he fought the urge and the desire because he couldn’t destroy her...He could not betray her.
I drank her blood and I read what her soul was hiding...I knew her real feelings for me ... I saw what I felt for her and pleasure mixed with pain. I didn’t deserve her but she loved me and pleasure suddenly became pain for me. She was my little girl, I had no right but I also had no choice and tears, red as the blood that I was drinking, began to flow from my eyes as a voice in my conscience repeated over and over again. "What do you feel when something you've always protected now becomes what you want the most? What does it feel like when you realize that you love and want something forbidden to the point where there will be no limit or control?"
Fear, that's what it feels like, an immense fear to love and let myself be carried by desire, thereby destroying what I love most, the only thing worthwhile in my life. I felt the fear of becoming into an executioner in the name of love as Coraline did with me. I felt the fear of an eternal and unbearable loneliness without her .
Her heartbeats began to be weaken, then she called my name weakly, like a whisper and I stopped, I had to ... I eased my fangs out of her and I gently closed the wound with my tongue, savoring her exquisite flavor one last time. She was still leaning on me, with her head on my shoulder but she was pale, almost ready to faint and I held her with my arm before she fell on the floor. I grabbed a towel and I pressed it to the wound to stop the bleeding. I left the tub, taking her in my arms and then I placed her gently on the floor, so that the blood could return to her brain. She had fainted and I called her name scared, terrified, while I was stroking her face with my wet hands to make her react. "Beth! Beth! Look at me, please...Look at me baby ... for God's sake, open your eyes and look at me."
She finally opened her eyes and said my name weakly.
"Beth ... I'm here, I´m here baby.” I kissed her forehead, it was an impulse that I was not able to control it my guilt for what had happened. "Forgive me ... please....forgive me."
She smiled and stroked my cheek. “Are you okay?”
Oh my God, she was so sweet, so beautiful… really I didn’t deserve her. 'Yes I am" I said with tears in my eyes hardly daring to look her. "I… I shouldn’t ... Beth ... I'm sorry…" I was so ashamed by what had happened, for all I had felt, I didn’t dare to look in her eyes and I wanted to find the words to tell her but she didn’t let me finish. She put her fingers on my lips, stroked my face and smiled. The mere touch of her skin made me fall into a kind of sweet spell, now even more ... then my eyes fell on her lips on her smile and desire for her surprised me again. For the first time I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to try the sweet taste of her mouth and make her mine, as I had done when I had drank her blood. Oh yes! I wanted her with all my heart and she wanted me too, I could feel it, I could smell her desire. I approached her a little more, mesmerized by the smoothness of her lips that seemed to call to mine, I got closer until I could feel her breath on me. At that point the desire was almost unbearable for me. How could I think of something like this at that moment? Her blood was still running though my veins, she lay dizzy and weak and I still wanted her as if I couldn’t get enough of her. I wanted her lips, her mouth, her skin, I wanted to lose myself in her scent and feel again her sweet surrender for me. I wanted to make love with her and hear her heart beating for me. The fever because of sunlight was gone but now I had another fever, different but no less dangerous, against which I would have to learn to fight. I had to do it even in spite of myself ... I'd have to do it for us both.
I took my eyes off her and I turned around looking for the chocolate that Lennie had taken from the mini bar for me "Beth, you ... you have to eat something and drink fluids to replenish yourself." Holding her with trembling hands, I offered her a chocolate and a little water. She took the chocolate putting her hand gently on mine, her touch was like fire, a fire in which I was dying to fall into and burn and yet I had no choice but to escape. The question was…how?
She barely ate two snacks and drank some water and then she insisted on going out to check on Lennie. She didn’t want me to feel bad and she made a great effort to get up and try to stay the feeling of dizziness and weakness. I insisted on going out with her but she joked and drawing strength from weakness, she said. "If you want to ride in my car, you better get rid of those wet clothes."
Just when the door was closed behind her and I heard her calling Lennie, I heard another voice; a man's speaking in whispers and sounding threatening. Then, something hit with a force against the bathroom door and I couldn’t wait anymore. At that moment the vampire took control over me again but this time the reason was different. After tasting her blood, after feeling her in me, all that had to do with her, had to do with me too, she had my mark on her body, she was mine and I would not let anyone, mortal or immortal, dare to hurt her and go on living afterwards. I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent. I didn’t need to see to know where he was and where she was, I only needed to hear the silence, it was enough to know what was happening on the other side of the door. Just a second later, my fist burst through the door and with a simple and accurate movement of my hand, I broke the intruder´s neck. There would be no mercy for him... not with him or anyone who tried to hurt her. Then I rushed toward her, I had to know that she was fine ... that he hadn’t hurt her.
The wound on her wrist was bleeding again because of the struggle. At that time, Lennie came out of hiding, she was surprised to see me "alive" and burst into my arms overwhelmed by fear and tension she’d experienced. I returned the hug to make her feel safe and to thank her for what she had done for me, but while I was hugging Lennie I couldn’t stop looking at her, Beth. I was dying to hug her but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it anymore. I noticed it when I saw her looking at the lifeless body of the intruder, when I saw her looking with a wave of pain at the red stained towel wrapped around her injured wrist, I knew when I saw her confused gaze searching mine... She was aware of the link created between us at that moment, but she did not know how dangerous it could be.
Her heartbeats began to be weaken, then she called my name weakly, like a whisper and I stopped, I had to ... I eased my fangs out of her and I gently closed the wound with my tongue, savoring her exquisite flavor one last time. She was still leaning on me, with her head on my shoulder but she was pale, almost ready to faint and I held her with my arm before she fell on the floor. I grabbed a towel and I pressed it to the wound to stop the bleeding. I left the tub, taking her in my arms and then I placed her gently on the floor, so that the blood could return to her brain. She had fainted and I called her name scared, terrified, while I was stroking her face with my wet hands to make her react. "Beth! Beth! Look at me, please...Look at me baby ... for God's sake, open your eyes and look at me."
She finally opened her eyes and said my name weakly.
"Beth ... I'm here, I´m here baby.” I kissed her forehead, it was an impulse that I was not able to control it my guilt for what had happened. "Forgive me ... please....forgive me."
She smiled and stroked my cheek. “Are you okay?”
Oh my God, she was so sweet, so beautiful… really I didn’t deserve her. 'Yes I am" I said with tears in my eyes hardly daring to look her. "I… I shouldn’t ... Beth ... I'm sorry…" I was so ashamed by what had happened, for all I had felt, I didn’t dare to look in her eyes and I wanted to find the words to tell her but she didn’t let me finish. She put her fingers on my lips, stroked my face and smiled. The mere touch of her skin made me fall into a kind of sweet spell, now even more ... then my eyes fell on her lips on her smile and desire for her surprised me again. For the first time I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to try the sweet taste of her mouth and make her mine, as I had done when I had drank her blood. Oh yes! I wanted her with all my heart and she wanted me too, I could feel it, I could smell her desire. I approached her a little more, mesmerized by the smoothness of her lips that seemed to call to mine, I got closer until I could feel her breath on me. At that point the desire was almost unbearable for me. How could I think of something like this at that moment? Her blood was still running though my veins, she lay dizzy and weak and I still wanted her as if I couldn’t get enough of her. I wanted her lips, her mouth, her skin, I wanted to lose myself in her scent and feel again her sweet surrender for me. I wanted to make love with her and hear her heart beating for me. The fever because of sunlight was gone but now I had another fever, different but no less dangerous, against which I would have to learn to fight. I had to do it even in spite of myself ... I'd have to do it for us both.
I took my eyes off her and I turned around looking for the chocolate that Lennie had taken from the mini bar for me "Beth, you ... you have to eat something and drink fluids to replenish yourself." Holding her with trembling hands, I offered her a chocolate and a little water. She took the chocolate putting her hand gently on mine, her touch was like fire, a fire in which I was dying to fall into and burn and yet I had no choice but to escape. The question was…how?
She barely ate two snacks and drank some water and then she insisted on going out to check on Lennie. She didn’t want me to feel bad and she made a great effort to get up and try to stay the feeling of dizziness and weakness. I insisted on going out with her but she joked and drawing strength from weakness, she said. "If you want to ride in my car, you better get rid of those wet clothes."
Just when the door was closed behind her and I heard her calling Lennie, I heard another voice; a man's speaking in whispers and sounding threatening. Then, something hit with a force against the bathroom door and I couldn’t wait anymore. At that moment the vampire took control over me again but this time the reason was different. After tasting her blood, after feeling her in me, all that had to do with her, had to do with me too, she had my mark on her body, she was mine and I would not let anyone, mortal or immortal, dare to hurt her and go on living afterwards. I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent. I didn’t need to see to know where he was and where she was, I only needed to hear the silence, it was enough to know what was happening on the other side of the door. Just a second later, my fist burst through the door and with a simple and accurate movement of my hand, I broke the intruder´s neck. There would be no mercy for him... not with him or anyone who tried to hurt her. Then I rushed toward her, I had to know that she was fine ... that he hadn’t hurt her.
The wound on her wrist was bleeding again because of the struggle. At that time, Lennie came out of hiding, she was surprised to see me "alive" and burst into my arms overwhelmed by fear and tension she’d experienced. I returned the hug to make her feel safe and to thank her for what she had done for me, but while I was hugging Lennie I couldn’t stop looking at her, Beth. I was dying to hug her but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it anymore. I noticed it when I saw her looking at the lifeless body of the intruder, when I saw her looking with a wave of pain at the red stained towel wrapped around her injured wrist, I knew when I saw her confused gaze searching mine... She was aware of the link created between us at that moment, but she did not know how dangerous it could be.
I had always protect her from everything ... and now I´d have to protect her from me.
..............................::**&***::................................
…Josh arrived soon with his men, he personally took care of Beth. It was better like this for the both of us... and I...well, I went with Lenny in one of the police cars.
When I finally got home, I took off my wet clothes and took a shower. I just wanted to come back to the refuge of my freezer, but I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t rest. I kept thinking of Beth, her image couldn’t be obliterated from my mind and I know it never would be erased. She was stuck in my mind, on my skin, in my body, in my veins and in my soul and she would be forever.
“They say that when a vampire savors the blood of his beloved, it creates a link between them both for a lifetime and the vampire is trapped in it. Caught in the spell of her perfume, her blood was calling me, waking up my thirst even unwittingly, until ending up succumbing to it. And it is a real torment to break this influx, fight against oneself, to escape the frenzy where your desire pushes you and to resist her call, the need to possess her, to feel her, to take her. Her blood was in me, I could still feel her warmth in my flesh, in my soul and I still wanted her... but I wanted something more than her blood... I wanted to have her entirely. I wanted to kiss her lips, caress her silky skin, take her body, feel that delightful abandon and make her vibrate and groan with pleasure. I wanted to hear her screaming my name, and loose myself in the sacred temple of her body warm and perfect, her delicious perfume and in her blue gaze as transparent and fresh as water. I wished to love her with all my being.
She had shown me the way of loving when she fed me and now I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I loved her like I never before had loved, and never thought I could love. I loved her in an intense, deep and irrational way beyond all instinct and all logic. It was something that was born in me even unwittingly and no longer could be denied. It was a necessity that inevitably led me to her. But it was an impossible dream, a mistake that I had to forget. I couldn’t have her; I couldn’t love her.
When I finally got home, I took off my wet clothes and took a shower. I just wanted to come back to the refuge of my freezer, but I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t rest. I kept thinking of Beth, her image couldn’t be obliterated from my mind and I know it never would be erased. She was stuck in my mind, on my skin, in my body, in my veins and in my soul and she would be forever.
“They say that when a vampire savors the blood of his beloved, it creates a link between them both for a lifetime and the vampire is trapped in it. Caught in the spell of her perfume, her blood was calling me, waking up my thirst even unwittingly, until ending up succumbing to it. And it is a real torment to break this influx, fight against oneself, to escape the frenzy where your desire pushes you and to resist her call, the need to possess her, to feel her, to take her. Her blood was in me, I could still feel her warmth in my flesh, in my soul and I still wanted her... but I wanted something more than her blood... I wanted to have her entirely. I wanted to kiss her lips, caress her silky skin, take her body, feel that delightful abandon and make her vibrate and groan with pleasure. I wanted to hear her screaming my name, and loose myself in the sacred temple of her body warm and perfect, her delicious perfume and in her blue gaze as transparent and fresh as water. I wished to love her with all my being.
She had shown me the way of loving when she fed me and now I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I loved her like I never before had loved, and never thought I could love. I loved her in an intense, deep and irrational way beyond all instinct and all logic. It was something that was born in me even unwittingly and no longer could be denied. It was a necessity that inevitably led me to her. But it was an impossible dream, a mistake that I had to forget. I couldn’t have her; I couldn’t love her.
...........::**&**::.............
BETH: I remember that Josh was concerned about the wound on my wrist and that I looked so pale. I had to lie and say I was injury on a fence because of my own stupidity. It felt so strange lying to him. Nothing had happened between Mick and me but strangely it felt like it had. Just touching his mark on my arm was enough to awaken my body, causing it to scream for him. I had never imagined something like that would happen.
Josh kissed the wound and I winced in disgust. That mark tied me to Mick, now I belonged to him and the mere touch of Josh bothered me, it was like something sacred to me, something that he was defiling with his kiss. I knew at that moment that I no longer loved him. My body and my soul belonged to Mick, I belong to him forever, and that feeling of belonging, made me need him even more to the point of going to look for him.
Josh kissed the wound and I winced in disgust. That mark tied me to Mick, now I belonged to him and the mere touch of Josh bothered me, it was like something sacred to me, something that he was defiling with his kiss. I knew at that moment that I no longer loved him. My body and my soul belonged to Mick, I belong to him forever, and that feeling of belonging, made me need him even more to the point of going to look for him.
.............::**&**::...............
…Her perfume came to me even through the door, I felt her heartbeat, I felt her desire that was mine too. I went to the door and saw her on the security camera. She needed me and I needed her. It was as if we were connected, as if in spite of the door between us, we were united into one being.
I was dying to have her in my arms and felt her need that screamed from her skin to mine. The silence of her call at the door was a desperate cry that raged in me, but it couldn’t be. Ours could be a love too complicated, too dangerous. It was impossible. I was a vampire and she a mortal ... a mortal whom I had seen grow up. I had protected her for years keeping her from the most serious of the dangers. Now I should keep the door closed, away from her, I should return to the shadows, near me she was in danger, I should stop, even if it meant to live in eternal agony knowing that she was mine and not being able to take her.
I was dying to have her in my arms and felt her need that screamed from her skin to mine. The silence of her call at the door was a desperate cry that raged in me, but it couldn’t be. Ours could be a love too complicated, too dangerous. It was impossible. I was a vampire and she a mortal ... a mortal whom I had seen grow up. I had protected her for years keeping her from the most serious of the dangers. Now I should keep the door closed, away from her, I should return to the shadows, near me she was in danger, I should stop, even if it meant to live in eternal agony knowing that she was mine and not being able to take her.
..............................::*&*::................................
"What do you do when something you've always protected now becomes what you want the most? What does it feel like when you realize that you love and want something forbidden to the point where there will be no limit or control?"
Fear, that's what it's feel ... an immense fear of losing her.
Fear, that's what it's feel ... an immense fear of losing her.
Here you show the video of this lyrics edited by my friend Marga (bony)....
I hear your voice in my sleep,
I dream of you and though you're not here,
in this darkness, you are my light.
But I have fear...
...Fear to go back to hell.
Fear of your fear,
Fear to have to forget you
Fear to love you unwittingly
Fear to meet you suddenly
Fear of don´t see you anymore
I hear your voice in my sleep,
I dream of you and though you're not here,
in this darkness, you are my light.
But I have fear...
...Fear to go back to hell.
Fear of your fear,
Fear to have to forget you
Fear to love you unwittingly
Fear to meet you suddenly
Fear of don´t see you anymore
TO BE CONTINUED...
I´LL SEE YOU ON THE NEXT MOONLIGHT
"ABSTINENCE"
"ABSTINENCE"
. .
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