..::**M&M**::.. Selene en Moonlight: M.S. 2 "Guardian Angel"

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"MISSING SCENES INDEX (In English and Spanish)"

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Previously on MISSING SCENES OF ML...

"PIECES OF THE PAST"

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The abilities of a vampire can serve for something else than for surviving? Maybe so.

EL ÁNGEL GUARDIÁN:

For some vampires, blood is like an open book, capable of telling a different story depending on who or how it has been spilled and why. You just have to learn to read it and I did. I bet that's a quality that any private investigator would have wished to have and that was precisely the choice I made to start my new life away from Coraline. I became a private investigator using my abilities. After all, I had to survive.

The vampire community had no problem in giving approval in my choice. Not all vampires know or want to keep their beast under control and to be "unnoticed" among humans, some of them let their animal instincts or obscure interests take control (we are not so different from humans about that), and this "weakness" gave rise to embarrassing situations that could and would jeopardize the foundation that assures our immortality. Keeping the secret of our existence and regrettably, the work of the Cleaners was not always enough. So I became a kind of link between the two worlds, human and vampire, helping the humans in some ways while protecting the confidentiality of my own community.

Living among humans and trying to help them while I was left fascinated by the ticking of their mortal lives, it brought me faint memories that I had of my own. But in those eyes that I read there was no, confidence, and even gratitude or admiration, instead, fear was a new sensation and rewarding to me. I guess it made me regain some of that peace lost since my turning. I think that all that eased in some way the void of my existence.

I recognize that my hatred became weaker, but that wasn’t enough. The beast was still in me and it would always be. That was something I couldn’t forget, I remembered it every night when the instincts surfaced and my bloodlust came back, when I had to satisfy my need, hiding, never being seen. Yes, I remembered what I was every morning when sunlight burnt my skin and I had to take refuge in the cold of my freezer and yet there came a time that I had to get used to even that, although I never forgot what I was.

On the other hand it was Coraline ... I had to keep myself away from her, I had too, but distance was not easy for either of us, there are chains that even fire cannot dissolve, though perhaps it was even harder for her than for me. Coraline would not take "no" for an answer, she would never let me go. It was only a matter of time before she returned to claim what she thought was hers ... Me ... and maybe at that time a part of me was still hers. However, knowing her, the main question was not when or why, but the how...

……………::**&**::……………

I lived between two halves that seemed to be inside of me, conscience and instinct, although I must admit at the time instinct prevailed, maybe a controlled instinct, but instinct nevertheless. My priority at that time was to take care of myself and in that sense not everything could be acknowledged. My dark side and my youth made me impulsive at times, even despite my intentions or perhaps because of them and sometimes I needed to find some form of evasion.

Josef, my friend, was delighted to provide that. He loved the permanent temptation, he enjoyed it and I acknowledge that at times when the vampire´s needs rose to the surface, I also enjoyed falling in temptation, though always with limits, of course. After all, if I had to be strictly loyal to my rules, any woman who would volunteer to feed a vampire in exchange for certain privileges and in whose eyes shone desire rather than fear, could not exactly be considered a victim...right?

And Freshies were exactly that for me.They are beautiful and tempting sources of food who longed to feel firsthand the orgasmic and addictive experience of being "taken" by a vampire, though, if I’m honest, it was not only blood that her generosity was willing to provide for that experience. But It was enough to suck their sugary blood to realize it. I confess that I felt pleasure when I sunk my fangs in their warm flesh and I took what their veins and their hot bodies wanted to offer to me. There was not guilt, just mutual satisfaction.

Yet even that ceased to be attractive to me after that night..

…………..::**&**::……………

September 1985…

It was a reddish fall sunset; I had just awakened from my iced dream. I was alone as I had been every night for the last decade, maybe too...

I was about to review the cases of the day when I saw the silhouette of a woman hitting the translucent glass door of my office, the sound was insistent almost desperate. When I opened it, she threw herself into my arms asking or rather begging for my help. She had a photograph in her hand, her four year old daughter was missing.

During all the time I worked as a IP, I never accepted cases with children, it was advice that Josef had given me and I had decided to follow, It was a matter of common sense. The pure blood of a child is an irresistible temptation for a vampire and I did not want to tempt the devil. But this time I felt something strange when that woman hugged me and I could not refuse, maybe it was the anguish and despair I felt through her contact, maybe it was a hunch I had when I saw the innocent face that seemed to look at me in that picture ... I do not know ... the truth is that I accepted the case without knowing that this would completely change my life forever.

…………..::**&**::…………

I went into the room of the little girl and I found her scent in the air. At first I tried to keep my vampire instincts under control, but when her scent penetrated me, a sweet and soft feeling flooded my senses. It was something I had never seen or felt with any other human being before. Something really delicious ran through me and made me want more and yet, contrary to what I had expected or feared, that sweet smell did not wake up vampire's thirst... it was rather a nice feeling, something clean and pure, something warm and cuddly that seemed to caress my undead heart and transported me to another time in my life, giving me peace.

But the scent also spoke of fear and anguish suffered by the little girl. I saw shadows and I heard confused voices that threatened to destroy that feeling and amidst all this turmoil of images and perceptions, there was something ... It was another scent, a perfume known to me that seemed to blend with that delicate and pure aroma, threatening to corrupt it and when it penetrated me, it broke the spell and alerted me. It was something dark, cruel that smelt of death and that brought a name to my mind ... Coraline.

A dreadful foreboding began to weigh on me and I wished with all my might that I was wrong.

……………::**&**::…………..

Not all vampires have the same skills, that is something that depended upon who your sire was and their abilities. It’s something like genetics that passed down through families in the case of humans but in our case it is transmitted with the communion of blood. So, I inherited Coraline’s ability to sniff out the past and foresee the future and I guess she thought about that when she did what she did. She expected that I would find her, but she had no idea of what would happen next.

…………..::**&**::……………

I followed the trail of the little girl and her abductor, guided by the tracks that were suspended in the air that impregnated the room. The tracks led me to an old building on the outskirts of the city, a place that awakened in me bad memories. Once there, the smell became more intense and my feeling too that a cruel game like this could only have one name behind it.

I opened the door and found the little girl but I also found something else…I came face to face with my own past.

The little girl looked so frail and helpless in the middle of that rundown room that was lit only by a faint candlelight. Her little body trembled with fear as her eyes turned to me, I saw in them a mixture of terror and a plea that pierced my undead heart. I went to her slowly so as not to frighten her, trying to calm her, but she moaned and still trembling, looked toward the ceiling. She was not alone and my worst fears took shape when I saw Coraline as a dark angel descending from the ceiling to stand behind her. She wore the same clothes as the night when she had turned me, as if it were part of a macabre ritual. Her hands rested on the little girl´s neck caressing her face with a false tenderness, while I could see the cruelty hidden in her eyes. The same eyes that were once reserved for me, wrapped in words of love, in that same place.

Coraline took my life and my dreams when she turned me and in doing so she stolen forever the possibility of a dream. The same dream that I had when I fell in love with Lilah, and the same dream when I thought that I loved Coraline and took her as my wife. I just wanted a family. But that dream died, shattered by the selfishness of her love without ever having had the slightest chance. And now she wanted to have that impossible dream in a grim and cruel reality for the sole purpose of getting me back again. She would do it in the only way she could, sacrificing an innocent on the altar of her wishes.

Her hands kept stroking the fragile neck of the little girl gently, but the evil glow in her eyes could turn any maternal gesture into a threat. Her dark eyes was clamoring for me, trying to make me fall into her trap, trying to drag me to the abyss one more time. She was so sure of her power over me. But I could only see her hands around the neck of the little girl and for the first time I felt a real revulsion for her. It was as if by her simply touch was draining the purity of the little girl´s innocence and I hated her for that ... Yes, I hated her with all my might.

At that moment I felt my body paralyzed by the horror and then I started to shake with rage. I looked at the eyes of the little girl. The innocence of her blue eyes was mixed with the request of mercy, the fear and the silence of the lamb, which senses danger but cannot do anything about it except to silence her cries so death would pass her by. And that gaze was fixed on me making me go back in time, reliving the horror of that night when I was sentenced to death by Coraline and her wishes.

I had no chance to save my life then but I had a chance to save hers. After all, in some way it was my fault, that this innocence girl was the bait that Coraline had chosen to tempt me and catch me again and I felt responsible for her fate.

Her eyes seemed helpless seeking refuge in me. I was her only way out. At that moment all the feelings that I could feel through her, my past and her present, ended up awakening in me a fierce protective instinct. Pushing me to protect her, like in doing so, I was protecting myself too. However, it was something more than an instinct or a need ... and it was that that led me to choose.

............::**&**::..............

Sometimes one cannot help but think of what one chooses. After that night I have had many occasions to think about it and yet in that moment I didn’t need to think at all, I just did what I had to do. I chose her life without knowing that in a way I also was choosing mine. But with my choice I had to kill the woman I had loved or at least that's what I thought then. I knew that was the only way break the link between us, because I had become her prisoner by the guilt. I wanted to bury my past with her, but the past is also part of the present and you cannot run from it or keep it a secret because it becomes a ghost that haunts you and forces you to face him sooner or later.

……………::**&**::……………

When the danger was past, I approached the little girl. She was huddled in a corner trembling from head to toe. I still don’t know how she could bear to see that and not lose her sanity, but I guess that Beth has always been a survivor. I held out my hand and she looked at me, she was confused and scared. Then she looked into my eyes. There was a moment of silence and then took my hand and hugged me and I picked her up in my arms.

They say that children can see the truth in the eyes of others because they look with eyes of innocence and I guess she saw something in me that I thought I had lost. She saw my soul ... or perhaps my soul was awakened by her that night and in doing so I found a ray of hope in the midst of my darkness. All was not lost to me.

She didn’t seem to mind that just a few minutes before I was a monster fighting against another demon before her eyes. She simply let me hug her and clung to me tightly. I could feel her safety and her calm when I picked her up and it was a sensation that I have not forgotten, neither that nor the warmth of her touch and her smell so sweet, soft, warm and clean that caught me and has kept me close to her ever since.

……………::**&**::…………….

BETH:My mind blanked out what happened that night, it erased images, flames and faces, it erased the voices and cries, but it could not erase the feelings, the smell, nor did it erase what I saw in his eyes or the sensation of security in his hug. I felt safe since that moment. I could not explain that but, though I could not see him, a part of me knew that my Guardian Angel was close to me every night, taking care of me.

.……………::**&**::…………..

When we got home, she still had her eyes closed and remained clinging to my neck. She refused to let me go and a part of me refused to let her go too.

BETH: At that time my mind was in shock trying to process everything that happened or rather protecting my own memories, but I still had the image in my eyes of Coraline appearing between the flames like a threat, like a demon who could cheat death and I had the impression that if I opened my eyes and walked away from my Guardian Angel I would not be safe and the horrible woman would come back from her hell to drag me back with her. There was nothing in the world that could make me change my mind at that moment, even the voice of my mother. Just his voice, velvety and smooth, managed to convince me while his hand stroked my hair gently "Don’t be afraid Beth, all will be fine, I'll be here, no one will hurt you." And when I looked into his eyes I knew that he was telling the true.

Her warm and grateful hug and her tender gaze made me feel human again. I confess that sensation scared me but I didn’t want the feeling to go away. Finally she fell asleep in my arms and I put her on her bed with the same care I would have put the most delicate treasure.

I said goodbye to her mother and left the house. I drove to my apartment, but once there I couldn’t stop thinking of her, I kept thinking of my promise. I felt I needed to see her to make sure that everything was fine, so I returned to her home, but this time I didn’t go in by the conventional way.

She slept curled up in bed with her mouth half open and her small hands gripping the pillow. I liked to watch her sleep and while I was watching I felt again her sweet scent take me back to that sense of peace. I sat next to her without thinking, like an impulse, but at that moment she started moaning in her sleep. She looked restless and her hands released the pillow and began to open and close her fingers in the air as if she was searching for something. I stood up thinking that her nightmare was my fault and I stepped back away from her but she became more nervous, she was about to cry. I didn’t know what to do, than I found a small teddy bear on the floor beside the bed. I picked it up and placed it beside her while covering her with a warm, soft blanket, but it was not what she was searching for. She felt my hand close to her, she took it gently between hers, curled up her face, and took a deep breath and her dream became sweet and calmed again.

That gesture caught me completely off guard. Time stopped in that instant, she felt safe with me and I with her, and I sat there sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her sleep, feeling her soft, warm breath on my hand. I knew I had to go but I could not leave her, I could not leave her, I felt like she was mine, something I needed to protect. However I was a monster that could scare her and when I thought about it, I couldn’t bear the thought that her eyes would be filled with fear if she saw me... that's why I chose the shadows and the silence to care for her, hopefully burying the beast in the depths of my being. I was determined to keep what she had seen in my eyes and I´d do it no matter what.

Because of her, I found the strength to change my life and forget the past. She silenced the beast with just a gaze. I´d do it for her, she should never see or remember the horror of that night and I kept watching her dream, night after night, hidden from her eyes, fascinated by the light of her innocence while time went by before my very eyes. In her I found hope and a reason to live that I keep to this day. Because of her I am what I am and I have no regrets. That night I swore to myself I would not let anything or anyone hurt her. But there was something that I hadn’t thought about… Eternity.