..::**M&M**::.. Selene en Moonlight: M.S. 1 "Pieces of the past"

You can visit the Missing Scenes Index here

INDEX OF MISSING SCENES MOOLIGHT"

If you want to read the original story in Spanish

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And you can visit too ML 2 THE VIRTUAL SEASON here

"ML 2 VIRTUAL SEASON INDEX"

Hello my friends

I suggest you a walk in our memory and a chance to fill those voids that the original show left us. I invite you to remember the most emblematic scenes and go beyong of what screen showed us. The only thing that we need is a little imagination ... if you have wondered .."What would happen after..." perhaps we will can find the answer here ...

So here you go "MISSING SCENES", moments and memories about the original show that have been written like a kind of diary. It´s my personal vision but I hope you enjoy it.

Here you go the first scene "PIECES OF THE PAST". Mick is going to tell us his story before and after he was turned into a vampire, his feelings about love, his hell after awake to the eternal darkness, his first victim...

Welcome and thanks for reading

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PIECES OF THE PAST

LILAH

Sometimes it is painful to look back and see a time that once was, knowing it will never return, but I always thought that it was good to remember and not to forget.

I still keep some memories of my life as a human. Moments that, in one way or another, left a mark on me. It’s not common in vampires but I suppose in my case they were kept because I really never wanted to forget, my memory was always the only connection that I had with that lost life.

Now, while reviewing the last years of my mortal life and the beginning of my immortality, I realize that, as human or as vampire, I had a friend all the time, a friend that was truly faithful to me: the solitude.

It was during the summer of 1944. Back then I was just a soldier with some medical knowledge learned between mortar and impacts of the K-98 Germans in the Second World War. It was undoubtedly the best training school for an aspiring doctor, but maybe too cruel, too inhumane, too real. The battlefield was more explicit than any university. Just when you see the face of death and you have to fight it every second, you can learn things that you don’t see in any hospital, things that can mark you for life. That damn war and what came after, left more wounds in the soul than in the body to most of those who managed to survive. Silent nights full of terrible screams, fear, loss, despair, guilt. Memories that are not easy to erase but you learn to live with them...there is no other way.

That summer we were on a reconnaissance mission in the forests of northern Italy. In and out of combat, death seemed to be permanently in the air, waiting to fall upon any one of us. Ray, my friend, almost like my brother, was wounded in a Germans’ surprise attack. I ran toward him to help. He was losing so much blood and when he thought that he could not return to his wife, he made me make a promise to him. ‘Take care of her and tell her that I love her.’ I did, of course, I kept that promise but at that time I didn’t think that it would be necessary.

Then there was another attack and everything became night.

I woke up days later in a hospital, wounded but alive. They said that I was the only survivor. That news was even worse than the physical pain of my wounds.

The loss of Ray and the horrors that I had to live after that, in the hell of the Ardenas, crushed me both mentally and physically beyond any limit I could bear.

I came back home but I was not the same person, I felt lost after that, I guess that's the way I tried to pick up where I had left off. I wanted to resume the life I had before, but the way that I chose was wrong.

Recovered from my external wounds but with my soul shrunken, I came back ... I went back to fulfill my promise, but that promise wound up backfiring on me.

Lilah knew that Ray would not return and her beautiful smile, the same one she gave to us the day that Ray and I were going to war, had become an infinite sadness that was drowning in her eyes. I knew it wouldn’t be any easier for her as it was for me. The death of those who we love is never easy. So, I stayed with her, the lose seemed less painful when you have someone to share it with.

But sometimes fate gives you trials to overcome, and, logical or illogical, it’s always cruel.

I stood beside her to protect her as I promised Ray when he was wounded. I needed to do it, I felt I owed it to him and her, but there was also a part of me that wanted to do it and without realizing it, I started to take gradually take a place that was not mine, living a life which did not belonged to me.

We both had something in common, the pain of loss, but sometimes when the pain and helplessness mixed with friendship and loneliness, creates an illusion of love. For her I was a close connection to the memory of Ray and for me she was an unattainable dream not confessed. Maybe that's why we both ended up falling into the trap.

I really loved her, or so I thought, but the truth is it was just a beautiful illusion that vanished one morning, as if waking from a dream, when her true owner, my friend, returned from the dead in which we believed he was lost.

That was the punishment for my betrayal for his friendship, thinking that she was mine and discovering that she was not. She had to go back to him because she was never really mine, neither was the dream that her love was meant for me. All that’s left in my soul is more painful than pleasant memories, further increasing my feeling of emptiness and drew in my mind the shadow of betrayal but soon I was going to suffer its blow on my own flesh.

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PIECES OF THE PAST

CORALINE

After that, I was back in the starting point but now I had nowhere to go. Now I had to start over away from those whom I had considered my friends, my family ... I had to do it for them and I did.

Then came the lonely nights drenched of alcohol in search of oblivion and a little of sex to warm my bed, emptying my pocket and my soul more and more, until coming the time when I hit bottom ... I guess once you falls you only can stand up or surrender to the death ... and I decided the first option ...

All that nights that I spent at the slums and my old studies of guitar, brought me to find a paradoxical exit of my own hole. It was like this I found a job... Oh yes...seeking refuge in my own loneliness, i ended up entertaining the evening of the most varied souls. I soon realized that the most of them, rich or poor, were just searching the same thing than me, oblivion or forgiveness with which to silence their consciences or mitigate the guilt hidden in their memories and get to escape their own loneliness ... the salary did not allow for much but it helped me to survive, which in those days was enough.

That's how I found her ...

Her enigmatic eyes stood out from the dark of local like a kind of lighthouse in the middle of the grim darkness of that sea of sadness and misery. When I saw her, I realized that I could not take my eyes off her ... During barely a second I thought she had looked at me too, but then she disappeared...

A few days later ... we were hired to play at a private party on the outskirts of the city of LA ... That summer night, death came to look at my eyes again, but that time I saw more of her than her gaze... Death had the face of a woman...yes... a beautiful and seductive woman, wrapped in silk and lace with red lips, a gaze sensual and deep, mysterious but with a tinge of melancholy. Her beauty promised forbidden passions as she walked in front of my eyes between flirty smiles, waking up my body and my most basic desire with each of her sweet moves ... Her name, Coraline ... the woman who made me what I am ...

I think I left fall fascinated by her, by the brightness of your smile made of crimson fire and her dark eyes full of mystery and solitude. The delicate and sinful voluptuousness of her body, the way rhythmic and sensual in which she walked before my eyes and her mysterious beauty made me dream of touching the Paradise ... She represented the pleasure of desiring the forbidden, the unattainable and even dangerous ... and I ... I was like a moth approaching to the light mesmerized by its beauty without knowing that there, behind that beautiful glow, it was hid the death...

Coraline played with me, took possession of my mind, my soul and my world until it rested nothing except her and her love was to me a sort of uncontrollable addiction from which I could not escape. I had never felt anything like it for anyone. It was like a fever that infected my body and soul, drove me till the limit and awoke a side of me that even I knew. However I loved her, I needed her. Something as inexplicable as inevitable.

A few weeks later ... we said "I do" at the altar one Sunday evening. That night, in the privacy of the bedroom, the champagne was waiting for us between ices but I was thinking of another kind of celebration (now I know that she did too). I took her in my arms through the doorway till the bed, ready to make her mine, I wanted to lose myself in the paradise of her silken skin and her red lips forever ... "Forever "... I never thought that this word may have a literal meaning so terrible ... She had death on her lips and paradise that I dreamt became hell for me. That night I went to bed as a man in love, full of live and hope and I ended up waking up to the death like a monster without hope.

The light was just killing the moth ... That was my reward for loving ... immortality and infinite loneliness ... It's funny ... Coraline took my mortal life in the name of love when I was just beginning to feel myself alive by her love and when she did, when she gave to me her "gift of love", the light disappeared and everything became night for me ... I have lived in the darkness since then ...

I awoke in a pool of blood, the afternoon light coming through the cracks of the window hurt me, burned my skin ... I could not understand what was happening. She told me that it was a gift, She had me freed from death and yet I never have I felt so trapped like then ... I tried to flee but there was no place where I could hide myself or wake up from that nightmare ... She was the only hand that could guide me in my new life, she was my sire and only she understood what my body felt, fear, confusion and above all thirst ... A thirst that I could not control nor was able to understand but it seemed to devouring me inside...

I went out running desperate in the middle of the dark and suddenly I found myself looking from side to side, perceiving things that I had never felt before. The darkness of the night became clear like the day before my eyes, the whispers of the people walking down the street became into strident voices as evil´s laughter, echoing in my head, laughing at my pain. And also I felt the smell... the smell that came off those warm and alive bodies beside me, making that thirst more and more unbearable and I felt that I was not I, if not a kind of predator in search of food. I felt fear and loathing for myself and ran like a madman trying to hide myself from everything and everyone, including myself, praying that the torture would end my life as soon as possible. But I couldn’t die and neither could I escape.

Then Coraline approached me with a sweet, compassionate expression. I begged her to ‘Stop this pain’ I just wanted to die. She smiled tenderly stroking my face with one hand while with the other, cruel and merciless, was offering the only relief I couldn’t accept. I screamed in horror: ‘No! Please!! I want to die ... let me die ‘. But Coraline gave me a smile almost maternal and she replied with her soft voice. ‘No, my love. You don’t want to die, you want to live.’ And then she put in my hands a young woman, she was gagged, her body was trembling with fear and she could barely moan begging for mercy.

I wanted to disappear at that moment, but when she unwrapped the clothes from her present as if it were a gift and I saw that white throat, her veins beating before my eyes, when I felt the touch of her warm skin alive in my hands, when her scent penetrated me. The beating of her pulse started pounding in my temples and I felt an irrepressible desire to sink myself into that flesh that was running through my body and my fangs sprang from my mouth while tears flowed from my still human eyes at the horror of that reality.

Then a red cloud blinded my conscience. I lost control and I pounced on her, moved just by instinct like a hungry lion on his prey.

That warm blood pouring from her veins into my mouth drove me until a kind of ecstasy beyond description came over me. That sensation erased all thoughts in my mind and filled it with perceptions, relieving the pain of my need turning into a pleasure that I had never known nor imagined. She succumbed to my desires, her cries of pain turned into moans and she surrendered to me, giving me what I demanded of her but that made my thirst grow more and more and every sip of life that I drank from her drove me in a euphoria that I was not able to stop nor control.

The warmth of her blood slowly warmed my body making me feel a false sense of life, while her heartbeats spread through my veins like concentric waves formed on the water when you throw a stone into the river. The waves were distancing themselves more and more until finally disappearing while her body heat turned cold and her life was extinguished on my mouth leaving in me a strange sense of loss.

‘It’s time to stop, baby, she cannot give you any more heat.’ Coraline whispered in her sweet coldness and then sanity returned to my mind and I eased away from my prey. She was totally pale, her skin seemed like wax and her body was lying languid and lifeless in my arms like a broken toy. She was dead ... I had killed her and yet I was unable to react, it was as if everything was part of a grim nightmare and I just couldn’t wake up from the nightmare. It was real, too real for me and for a moment I thought that it was driving me crazy. Coraline then took my face in her hands and whispered. ‘Love, everything is okay, what you feel is normal the first time. Gradually you´ll learn to take from mortals only what you need, I'll teach you.’ Then she approached me, licked with her tongue the thread of blood that ran down my chin and she kissed me.

At that moment consciousness returned to my mind and I pushed her from my mouth breaking her kiss as if doing so I could also delete what I had done, but her captivating gaze annulled my conscience one more time. My fear, my impotence, my anger and my rage became desire. My mind hated her but my body wanted her and I pulled her to me again and I kissed her wildly, dominated by a basic instinct, almost animal. I just wanted to hurt her biting her lips with fury but she just smiled knowing that I was hers.

Coraline knew she’d awakened my dark side and as lost as I was in an unknown world without a reason to live for, I could only let myself struggle ... Thus began my torment.

She guided me between shadows and death and she taught me how to use my new skills, as any sire would do with his pupil. She taught me how to keep my thirst under control and not to jeopardize the secrecy of our existence. And I learned to survive, I had no choice. They were dark and decadent times that make feel ashamed and yet at that time I couldn’t do otherwise. The link that bound me to her was stronger than I was and that love-hate feeling kept me trapped physically and mentally in that prison, tied to her in a relationship of insane dependency that dragged me more and more into the abyss./span>

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Forever? She had asked me ‘Forever’ I had answered ... but that was before I saw her true face... before suffering deception and betrayal, before they shatter my dreams and my life without the slightest choice.

In the end, eternity turned out to be too long with a woman like mine. Perhaps my heart had stopped beating but something was dying a little more everyday just being with her. Every time that I had to hunt to survive, every time I looked into the eyes of a victim, I could only see their fear. I felt like a monster and I hated me and her.

It was a matter of having a soul and I refused to lose mine entirely. I refused to lose my memories and I definitely divested myself of mankind that she had robbed me of. The memory hurt me but eternity tormented me even more. I could not forgive her, and although I couldn’t avoid wanting her, I could not love her. She had killed my love for her the night she turned me into a monster that I had refused to accept. she tried to erase that from my mind in every possible way, but it was useless, she had created a void inside of me that not even the passion I felt when I was with her, or the temporary euphoria of warm human blood sliding down my throat, could make me forget. It was worse. I felt dead inside and out and I felt that it was all her fault.

I could only think that there had to be some reason and I needed to find it or else I was going to go crazy. When I overcame the initial euphoria, I decided to leave my wife and all she meant. I needed to change my life and do something with the skills I had, something that would serve to offset what had come before, to ease the weight of my conscience and to distract my mind so I wouldn’t think of her. I wanted to erase all the fear I had seen in so many innocent eyes, so I proposed a set of rules, a kind of moral code that I could stand firm on and so I wouldn’t fall back into my particular addiction of her and what she meant for me. I refused the beast inside of me and I started that task I had imposed on myself but all it did was make me close the door to love, to trust, to hope and to feel. If loneliness was to be my only friend, I´d accept it with resignation because I wanted to live among humans without hurting them and keep alive the memory of my lost humanity, the memory of the soul that she stole me. I just needed a reason to give myself the strength to keep me away from temptation and I found it in the innocent eyes of a girl. That sweet gaze changed my life.